not you guys too..
Do I have a problem keeping friends? Because I feel like I’m losing them left and right. Not that I am ever sure I had solid friendships in high school, but college too now? Come on.
I hate how you treat me. You call me your “friend” and yet you talk shit to me nonstop. You hurt me. You’ve made me cry and I’m sure that you know it, yet you never apologize. People say it’s your sarcasm or your stubbornness or just “how you are”, but no. I see “how you are” with other people as well. You make plans with them and have GENUINE excitement for it; you’ll actively seek to hang out with them, call them, text them; you miss them when they’re gone and write cutesy messages about it on their facebooks. But you never do this for me. I feel like I’m striving SO HARD for your friendship when I know you’ll never treat me the same as you do to others. And yet you’re still my “friend”.
And then there’s you. You put your boy before me in every situation. You’ll be too tired to hang out with me, but not too tired to go shopping half an hour later with him. You’ll be late all the time because you’re spending time with him. We RARELY hang out, and when we do, you invite him to everything we do. You overdo the PDA’s. And for crying out loud you willingly sleep in a twin bed with him every night. How are you not tired of seeing each other 24/7? I’ve said it to your face and I’ll say it again: You’re not in my life enough.
This is probably an incredibly self-centered post. Well, at least the second paragraph is. The first one I feel is still true, and probably indicates that I’ll eventually lose your friendship. The second one I KNOW comes from my own insecurities and jealousies, but part of it is still true.
I hope you guys never see this post. If you do, I’m really sorry. Please know I’m just rambling right now out of self pity and don’t really have the strength to censor anything I say because, hell, it’s gotta get out of my head at some point, irrational or not. I figure here’s the best place to do it. Maybe now I can forget that I’m holding these bitchy, petty grudges and just work on our friendship so I won’t lose any more of the few I have left…
button
