my sky is falling.

nostalgia—fuck you.

I don’t know why I have such a fucking difficult time letting go of the past. It’s over. It’s done. So MOVE THE FUCK ON. And yet, I find myself watching old fraps vids, or googling past names and leagues, or following (stalking?) people (more like ‘person’) that I know have long since forgotten about me. They’ve all moved on. They’re geeks and nerds and even they probably went on and did something new for a change. But where am I? What have I left? I’m here, I’ve done nothing new, and I’m wishing for the past again. Hell, that old geezer’s probably in his 60’s by now.

It just really bothers me how I can’t seem to get over the past. Like I’m craving that attention all over again. Like I’m wanting to be good at something, to impress people and have them wanting to be my friend, to get some REAL fucking closure on that ‘what if?’ I seem to be leaving open for no reason. He’s gone. I should realize this by now.

This is pathetic. Hell, I’m pathetic. But I still can’t seem to change.