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I woke up this morning (read: afternoon) with an odd feeling of… heartache. Which makes no sense because I haven’t recently done anything of the sort to be in that position (read: have a boyfriend in the past however many years). Perhaps it’s my new song obsession, Ryan Cabrera’s “True”, that’s triggering this feeling. But yea, it sucks. I just really wish I had someone to care about, who cared about me, and hanging out with him wouldn’t be stressful for a person with as much social anxiety as me, and we could just be with each other and that’d be enough, and wow that was so cliche but it’s how I feel. Stop judging me.
But when I think about who this person would be, I’ve got no one in mind. Sure, there’s a sprinkling of “maybe..” for some guys that I’ve been really on and off with, but nothing I can see lasting in the long run. Which sucks. Because this means until I find someone new, and then spend the while getting comfortable with that person, then I’m gonna be alone for… awhile… fuck.
I won’t talk,
I won’t breathe,
I won’t move til you finally see
That you belong with me.
You might think I don’t look,
But deep inside the corner of my mind,
I’m attached to you.
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